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Ruby Wax
Former entertainer, now an expert on psychology, human behaviour and communication
After three decades working on stage, television and radio, Ruby Wax has recently changed direction.
She completed an MSc in Psychotherapy and a course in Neuroscience at UCL, and now now runs management workshops for business leaders enabling them to find a deeper and more direct level of communication with their clients and colleagues. Her workshops combine humour with scientific and theoretical learning and normally involve practical exercises. Ruby's participants leave with a set of tools helping them…
After three decades working on stage, television and radio, Ruby Wax has recently changed direction.
She completed an MSc in Psychotherapy and a course in Neuroscience at UCL, and now now runs management workshops for business leaders enabling them to find a deeper and more direct level of communication with their clients and colleagues. Her workshops combine humour with scientific and theoretical learning and normally involve practical exercises. Ruby's participants leave with a set of tools helping them create a climate of positivity, more effective teams, so directly impacting their organisation.
As Ruby says, "to engage with colleagues in stressful circumstances and positively motivate their actions through your own presence requires a deep understanding of yourself, your own potential and your ability to influence others. But where does this presence come from and how can it be harnessed to positively lead others Credibility, authenticity and genuineness are characteristics that followers want from their leaders. But authenticity requires a willingness to take risks, stay open to fresh ideas and be completely present in a situation. To be successful you need to become aware of yourself, your people and the world around you. We can all talk at each other but rapport means reading under the radar below the words to understand what people really mean and being transparent enough for them to understand you. When you begin to relate as a human to another it helps build better teamwork, better connections with the public, your clients, your shareholders and your employees. It's your humanness that works as a glue to hold relationships together, not your intellect."
After arriving in Britain from America in 1977 and training as an actress, Ruby began her career acting alongside the likes of Helen Mirren with the Royal Shakespeare Company before developing her own brand of highly amusing "attitude TV". In addition to performing and presenting Ruby has contributed, written and edited numerous scripts for TV shows such as French and Saunders, Happy Families and Absolutely Fabulous. With her outrageous show, Ruby Wax Meets, she broke all the rules and conventions and created some of television's most memorable moments.
She became one of the best known and popular faces on television. In her own unique and inimitable style Ruby has confronted Imelda Marcos, irritated Donald Trump and been intimate with Pamela Anderson, she is one of the few television personalities who has cracked Cannes and Hollywood. Her TV shows got under the skin of celebrity and seek out the wackier side of life.
Ruby now speaks regularly at corporate conferences, where her sharp brain, wittiness and humour helps get her important messages across.
Masterclasses
Creating Trust
Business is all about trust without it you don’t inspire, make money, relate or motivate. Many leaders are cognitively brilliant, it got them where they are but they may have few skills at gaining trust and creating a relationship. The ongoing theme of dissatisfaction within organizations is that employees feel their leaders are too remote. In a survey of 700 high end companies it was found that what determined how long employees stayed was based on the relationship with their immediate boss. Some leaders say they weren’t born with communication skills, we weren’t born knowing calculus or how to play tennis either, these skills of relating can be learned like exercising a muscle. Our culture puts analysis over intuition which allows two humans to receive the contents of each other’s mind.
These skills are about bringing the human being you are out of the office into the office because it’s the human skills that glue relationships. It’s about trying to understand someone rather than winning a match or crossing swords. Great communication is also about listening, it has to be a two way conversation which is more like two people playing jazz in contrast to playing their pre-recorded tapes at each other.
People aren’t objects, they have a sixth sense about when you are being genuine they can tell when you’re being disingenuous no matter how beautifully you verbally craft your vision. If you form a relationship by being curious and interested, genuinely speaking from your feelings as a human being rather than as a representative of an organization you’ll gain the public’s votes, admiration and trust.
EINSTIEN: “We shouldn’t make intelligence our God; it has powerful muscles but no personality, it cannot lead it can only serve.”
I have 25 years of experience doing interviews on television both on the BBC and Channel Four. Some of the shows had up to 13 million viewers. Over the years I watched my interviews many times during the edit and started to deconstruct the interaction to discover why some interviews worked and other’s failed, it was all down to creating a bond based on trust.
As an interviewer I consider myself a leader in that I’m in charge of the editing, the shooting, the content and making the guest trust me in a very short space of time while the pressure’s on.
During this workshop I give a visceral sense of what it’s like when you gain someone’s trust.
The skills a leader needs to create that bond of trust are:
1. Self awareness. What I call ‘Falling Awake.’ Before you can understand what someone else is thinking and feeling you have to be aware of yourself –your thoughts and feelings. Leaders high in emotional self awareness are attuned to their inner signals, recognizing how their feelings affect them and their job performance.
2. Self management. What I call ‘Using the Brakes.’ Leaders with self control fin ways to be in command of their own impulses by being aware of their own habits and defaults. It’s about knowing how to stay calm during a storm so their emotional state doesn’t infect the organization..
3. Social awareness. ‘Reading the Room.’ The leader is aware of each person’s emotional signals, sensing what the other person is actually trying to say, under his words. He listens attentively to seek understanding of the other person.
4. Relationship management. ‘Working the Room.’ The leader can adjust his style and shape the outcome of the social interaction sensing what the other person needs moment by moment. When needed he can be inspirational, a coach, a friend, commanding, democratic, direct, etc.
5. How to create a relationship when communicating with a large audience using all of the above techniques.
I show clips from my shows where there was a relationship based on mutual trust and what it actually looks like. I was given ten minutes with each of the following celebrities which I managed to turn into three days. I had to finesse a relationship on the spot and gain their trust.
SHOW CDS OF INTERVIEWS WHICH WORKED – I EXPLAIN HOW I CREATED A RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH INDIVIDUAL –
Bette Midler
Hugh Hefner
Imelda Marcos.
SHOW CD OF INTERVIEW WHERE THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO BOND.
Madonna
I DECONSTRUCT THE INTERVIEW TO SHOW WHERE I FAILED MOMENT BY MOMENT. WE DISCUSS WHAT I MIGHT HAVE DONE TO REMEDY THE SITUATION.
Through exercises the group learn to become not only aware of how they come across but learn to use listening skills; transparency, empathy and humour, giving them the ability to create a bond.
During the workshop I have a dialogue with someone in the group demonstrating ways to create trust. I also provide tools to deal with interactions that fail and teach how to resurrect the connection.
If there is time the group have the opportunity to converse with each other. I video them and we discuss what each of them were thinking during the dialogue and what they thought was going on moment by moment. The group are invited to give suggestions how the bond could have improved.
We work on empathetic accuracy which is the greatest tool in trustful communication. This ability distinguishes the tactful advisor, the most effective negotiator, the most diplomatic official, the most productive salesmen and the most elect able politicians.
By the end of the workshop everyone will have a very intuitive sense of what it feels like to make a relational connection where both parties are open to each other and together create in an atmosphere where trust is prevalent. As a leader it’s important to be able to finesse the interaction so the other person feels he can be transparent, feel important within the organization and feel safe enough to be honest.
